The Night the Dancing Stopped - A Nosy Chicks Mystery by Pat M. Davis

The Night the Dancing Stopped - A Nosy Chicks Mystery by Pat M. Davis

Use of Contemporary Slang in Historical Novels

Recently I've read several historical fiction novels, some set during WWII, others in more distant times. One unfortunate similarity shared by too many of these books is the use of contemporary slang in historical text and dialog. Its use is jarringly out of place and shatters the mood of time, events and place the author is attempting to create.

Such phrases as "connect the dots" - "the ball's in his court" - "wake up call" - "moved the goal post" are recent additions to our collection of casual expressions. In addition to showing up in books, they are often and inappropriately used by TV news anchors and interviewees when discussing grave national and international matters. War and talk of war are not games or sports.

I'm pretty sure George Washington never said, "Hey, Dudes, let's haul ass across the Delaware River."   

Getting Rid of Trite Phrases

Most of the books I've read recently have two phrases I'd like to remove from the English language. One is "...somehow managed..." as in "He somehow managed to get out of the cave." This provides no image for the reader. Compare with "He crawled out of the cave." The reader can visualize a male person on hands and knees making slow progress through a tight space. A simple example but more effective.

The other phrase is "...seen better days..." Whether it's clothes, cars, shoes, houses, or a multitude of other objects that wear, fade, scuff, fall down, or deteriorate, they all end up bearing this generic description. Choose a specific characteristic or two and show what's wrong. "Not only did the fence require a fresh coat of paint, a half-dozen missing rails needed to be replaced."

When you complete a manuscript, use Find/Replace to delete and rewrite these phrases.

Producing a Polished Manuscript

I've read a number of books on my Kindle recently, ranging from free books to best sellers. I've been annoyed to outright riled about the quantity of errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar in too many books. When I have to stop and interrupt the flow of a story to untangle a sentence or figure out a wonky-looking word, I lose momentum and interest. Enough distractions and I move on to another book.

The responsibility of presenting the reader with a well-polished, pleasant reading experience lies with the writer. This is especially true for self-publishing. From my reading experiences, I suspect many writers whip off a story, publish it online, and expect the reader to love it as much as they do. That's not going to happen if the reader has to grapple to make sense of it.

I've begun writing a review for each book I read - the person thinking about buying that book has a right to know if it's sloppily churned out. And hopefully, it will send a message to the writer that readers demand their best efforts.

I have a lot of sympathy for beginning writers.  After all, that's what I am. But I'm committed to turning out the best story I can which, aside from plot and characters, includes reading it endlessly, looking for errors, rewriting and editing appropriately. Don't be too hasty to get your book out there for sale - some extra tweaking might make a big difference in your reviews and sales.

Road to Getting Published

I'm behind on posts for a couple really good reasons.  I made a move of choice from PA to NC this month and have been immersed in getting settled in a new home.  Equally important and possibly even more exciting is that I've been offered two publishing contracts for my first romantic mystery.  Three publishers expressed interest in the manuscript and provided specific suggestions for revisions.  One publisher sent a review by an editor who liked my book and another by a reviewer who didn't like it.  After reading them, I couldn't tell which was which - they were harsh but they were right.  Once I got over feeling offended, I went to work implementing their ideas and resubmitted.  I received a contract from one within a month and the second a few weeks later.  I knew all along I wanted to be accepted by the traditional publisher who will put out the book in both print and e-form.

The publisher complimented me for submitting the original manuscript and revised versions that were well-edited. I like to edit my own work so I'm certain I read it at least a hundred times and it paid off.  All these advice articles about submitting clean manuscripts are true. The last thing you want to do is turn off an editor or publisher because of misspellings, funky punctuation, missing words, sentences that don't make sense, and so on.   Don't shortchange editing.

      

Writing a Hobby?

Recently, in answer to a question, I explained I was a writer.  The woman asked what I wrote and was quite interested in in the writing/publishing process.  At the conclusion of our brief conversation, she remarked it was nice I had a hobby.

I didn't react but I was slightly offended at her perception of writing as a hobby.  In my world, a hobby is something I'd do for relaxation.  I love writing and enjoy it but it's work and I schedule time for it nearly every day.  I don't wait until I have nothing else to do - that would never happen and I'd never write anything!

Have you dealt with people who think writing is a hobby?  How did you feel about it?

Character Descriptions

Somewhere along the way, I was taught or think I was taught to give complete descriptions of characters - physical stats like hair and eye color, body build, and so on.  But for some time now, I've paid close attention to descriptions in books and good television scripts which seem to slip in as snippets here and there and don't follow the old patterns of including every detail.

I just finished reading a novel in a popular mystery series in which the main character is a successful writer and thief.  During the story, he mentions that his passport photo looks nothing like him.  After I finished the book, I realized that was the only description of him in the entire book.  Nothing about age or the typical tall/short, blue/brown eyes, blond/brown hair, fat/skinny, etc.  And yet, I formed my own mental picture of him and could see him clearly.

I remember a description from the TV series, Frasier.  His father commented on a brief affair his wife had and he summed up her paramour in these few words - a urologist with a bad comb-over.  I think it's one of the best descriptions ever.

I tend to make descriptions fairly brief because I don't like them.  So, I skip long-winded descriptions when I read and go for less is more when I write. 

What kind of descriptions do you like to write or read?  Brief?  Detailed?

Abused and Misused Pronouns

We've become speakers of colloquial English and I'm okay with it.  I enjoy using it in my novels since my characters live in the present and reflect their age and time.  I have fun adding -ish and -ism to words or hyphenating words to make up new words.  To me, it's part of the magic of playing with words.

Having said that, I can't believe the number of times in a single day that I hear knowledgeable people, especially television newscasters and commentators who should've mastered basic grammar in college or elementary school, screw up their pronouns. 

*Simply put, a nominative pronoun is the subject of the sentence:  I, you, he, she, it, we, they, who, and whoever.
Ex:  She and Mark like ice cream.  Not - Her and Mark like ice cream.  
Ex:  He and I went to the party.  Not - Him and me went to the party. 
Ex: Who is going?  Not - Whom is going? 

Two subjects can make it a little tricky so take out one of the subjects and listen to the sentence.  If you use the wrong pronoun, it sounds weird and you'll know it.
Not - Her like ice cream.  Not - Me went to the party.

*Objective pronouns are used with direct objects, indirect objects, and as objects of prepositions:  me, you, him, her, it, us, them, whom, and whomever. 

Ex:  The ball hit him and me. (Direct Object)  Not - The ball hit he and I.

Ex:  I told him my secret . (Indirect Object)  Not - I told he my secret.

Ex:  The plane flew above him and her (Object of Prep.)  Not - The plane flew above he and she.

Ex:  To whom does this belong? (Object of Prep.)  Not - To who does this belong?

The use of pronouns extends far beyond these examples but, in my opinion these are the most abused.  I expect my readers have a good grasp of pronoun rules so perhaps they can pass the info to someone who needs it.  At least, I've done my bit for these little words whose incorrect form ends up in sentences more often than the correct form!

 

Influenced By Reading Same Genre?

Is it a good idea to read books similar to the one you're writing?  I've heard this argued from both sides.  The obvious reason to abstain is the possibility, either conscious or unconscious, of being influenced by the book already in print.

The current mystery I'm writing is set in Amsterdam and although I've lived in Holland, I've forgotten a lot of details about the city.  So, in addition to ordering a couple travel DVD's about the city, I, also, ordered a mystery set in Amsterdam.  The plot and characters were totally different from mine but I found it quite motivational.  Well-written and fast-paced, it made me eager to move on with my own story and get it finished.

What experiences have you had with reading the same genre you're writing?  Does it influence your writing?

Titling Your Novel

I just finished re-titling a romantic mystery at a publisher's request as well as coming up with a title for the romantic suspense I'm writing now.  Having gone through the titling process several times before this, I'm sharing some ideas I've discovered to make it simpler and fun. 

My romantic suspense novel is set in Amsterdam and I wanted Amsterdam in the title to attract agents, editors, and readers who look for international settings.  The first titles that came to my mind were Murder in Amsterdam and Death in Amsterdam.  Way too generic and probably already taken but a starting place.

Although my purpose wasn't to steal a title from another writer, I went to Amazon.com and typed in Amsterdam and mystery. Screens of books came up and I jotted down a number of titles I liked and found interesting.  Most of the mysteries involved experienced male police investigators, nothing like my young female amateur sleuth.  It didn't matter that the characters and plots were totally different from mine.  Reading the variety of titles was stimulating and inspirational, plus I wanted to steer clear of any titles that were currently on the market.  As I guessed, Murder in Amsterdam and Death in Amsterdam were already out there!

I wanted a title that was original, catchy, and unique to my plot.  To my list of words to include in the title besides Amsterdam, I added other words as they came to me.  I looked at the list from time to time, deleting words and adding new ones.

Pretty soon I put some of those words together and came up with the perfect title that fits my romantic suspense set in Amsterdam.

 

   

Revisions

I've heard from several small publishers who're interested in my romantic murder mystery - with revisions that range from minimal to extensive.  One publisher provided detailed line edits of the first three chapters from two readers, pointing out some descriptions that weren't clear and and ideas for rearranging material to improve flow.  Of course, the suggestions are to be applied to the entire manuscript.  These people know what they like and don't like!  This is a traditional publisher with a lot of books out there, including B&N stores.

Another publisher was less specific, suggesting more tension and more dialog by the main character and those ideas can be worked into the above revisions as I go.  This publisher has only been in business for a few months.  I don't know how to evaluate a business with only a couple books out.  Has anybody worked with a new publisher?

The third publisher wants a title change.  The book is set during a Christmas festival which appears in the title.  The publisher said the title limits sales to a short period during the holiday season.  That makes sense so I suggested, also, changing the festival to a more generic winter carnival.  A perfect title popped in my head last week - it focuses on the murders, not the season.  This is something to keep in mind when choosing a season and a title for your book.

I'm starting the editing process today and plan to see it through although I'd rather be writing on my new romantic suspense.  I'm sure I'll sneak back and work on it though!

  

Catching Up

After an absence from the blog while I planned and celebrated Christmas with my six children, two daughters-in-law, and three grandchildren, I'm back in the writing and blogging mode. I'm working on my first thriller and having fun with it. I didn't know if I could sustain suspense throughout a novel but I've made it to Chapter Five.

I've had several interesting responses from small publishers, several of whom have requested the full manuscript of my mystery. Also, I still hear from some of the agents I contacted months ago. I guess agents and publishers really do slog their way through all those submissions. I remain hopeful - a new year means a new start - this could be the year!

When I was in North Carolina in the Fall, I went to a writers' meeting with my writer friend, Nancy Sales Cash. One member of the group brought a publication called Flip Dictionary to share with us. It's something of a thesaurus but instead of just synonyms for words, you can find a single word synonym for a phrase. Think about the times when it takes several words to say what's in your head but you want to use just one perfect word. I ordered mine through Amazon for $6.89. Although I have my trusty Writer's Thesaurus, I use the new Flip Dictionary more often. Take a look at it - you may like it.

Happy New Year to everyone. I feel so optimistic about this year, especially the writing opportunities and possibilities!

Small Publishers

After more than a few people suggested I query small publishers, I finally gave it a try and received several positive responses, certainly a higher percentage than from literary agents. I listen more carefully now when writers talk about their success with small presses. My contacts seem to have a close working relationship with their editors and speak highly of their experiences. If you're tired of querying agents who don't respond, consider this route.

New Blog

I have a new blog, Single Life and Love After Fifty, and I hope you will let your friends know about it. Thanks for passing the link to anyone you think may be interested.

Submission Package Differences

I sent submission packages to eight publishers who did not require agent representation. All asked for a standard query letter but each publisher had specific requests as to other information they wanted. In most cases, rewriting the final paragraph satisfied their particular requirements. Aside from the usual request to specify genre, number of pages, and word count, one publisher asked for an exact statement to be included at the end of the query certifying that the work was mine and original. An interesting twist and one I had not encountered. Keep your old versions of queries and other submission materials. You never know when one of them will be exactly what an agent or publisher wants.

Small Publishers

I was doing a Google search on the contents of a "typical" submission package. It seems every agent wants a different mix of materials, especially the synopsis which ranges from one page max to as many as ten pages. I was hoping for some advice on hitting a happy medium for a short and long synopsis that I could use for everyone.

I included multiple search words trying to zero in on the answer to my synopsis question and ended up stumbling upon the mother-lode of small publishers actively seeking mysteries - no agent needed. I've looked at five screens already with many more screens to go.

After all the careful searching I've done for agents and small presses, I don't know how I missed finding these. No name was familiar - all new possibilities.

Don't give up on your search for agents, or for small presses if that route appeals to you. Apparently there are plenty of both!

How Many Queries?

In my ongoing search for agents for my YA mystery and romantic mystery, I came across an online publication that concludes it's necessary to send out 150 queries for any hope of snagging an agent. Unfortunately I didn't bookmark it for further reading but the article breaks down the actions an agent takes upon receiving a query: deleting it unread, reading part or all of it and then deleting it, requesting a couple pages or chapters, and the rarity of requesting a full manuscript. That long list of 150 queries narrows down to a few positive responses. I just had an experience with an agent I was certain was going to represent me but she bailed! Even surviving the submission odds doesn't guarantee anything.

Querytracker has a section which breaks down the number of monthly submissions specific agents receive to the number of rejections and requests for more material. Most agents have an extremely high rejection rate. Why bother to query an agent who rejects nearly everything they receive? Chances are they have a full client list. It may be more productive to look for agents with a record of being more receptive to new material. Don't overlook new agents - they're in the process of building a client list!

Always check Preditors and Editors to weed out unscrupulous agents!

I've been busy querying agents about The Christmas Festival Murders. I've had a couple requests for more material. A maybe is lots better than a flat-out no. As long as I get encouraging feedback, I'll keep querying. In the meantime, I'm working on a new story - more suspense than mystery. The setting is Amsterdam, one of my all-time favorite cities. Having had the chance to live in Holland, I fell in love with the quaint bell-shaped roof lines, canals, houseboats, and narrow streets. I can't wait to incorporate these into my story.

Keep writing and chasing agents. Let's get published!

Querying Again

I've taken a rest from trying to get my YA novel published. I came so close to hooking an agent but at the end of the process, she decided against representing it. So sad! At least, it gave me hope that a real agent with a reputable agency almost took it on.

I was frazzled from months of sending out queries and needed a change so I pulled out my first attempt at writing, The Christmas Festival Murders. When I finished it several years ago, I had an agent who was representing a children's chapter book so I sent my mystery to her. She loved my children's book so I expected raves about this one too. Instead, she recommended I cut out the first seventy pages which was about a quarter of the manuscript! Do what?

I couldn't bring myself to make those cuts so I put it away while I wrote the YA story. When I looked at the manuscript a year later, I agreed with the agent. Those seventy pages were full of fluff. I really liked the storyline so I kept that but rewrote the entire manuscript. I added a romantic interest for my female sleuth. Although I did it to spice-up the story, the book is now a romantic mystery which expands its marketability.

Just recently I had part of the manuscript critiqued through the North Carolina Writers' Network - the critiquer said it was ready to go - not a word about cutting out large chunks of material. Yay! Apparently I'd learned something and all that writing and rewriting paid off.

I just started the query process - again! I got some auto-rejections right off the bat but I've had a request for more material - an encouraging sign.

Querying is tedious, boring, and frustrating. Researching agents all day makes me feel like I'm been in a semi-coma. It's not surprising that writers (me included) scramble names and e-mail addresses and send queries to the wrong agent. I've found splitting a day between researching/sending out queries and working on another manuscript is more tolerable. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It took me a while to figure that out. I so wanted to send a query to every agent I thought might be the one.

Let's get published!